The Employment Of Repose

“So, is this what it looks like when you no longer work at M———–?”

“Yes. Yes, it is,” I replied. I’m refreshed. I’m rested. I was cradling my new pink Kate Spade bag like it was a newborn. I was standing before all my ex-coworkers for the first time in a month.

This was a dinner party for one of the doctors. Fourteen of my former workmates were there. I was ready for the questions: “What are you doing with yourself?” “Have you gotten any interviews?”

When you lose a job, there are two options; cry like a baby and stress out, or take a vacation and chill. I’m no believer that the “universe will provide,” no investor in God’s will. I know that I need to put forth some effort to get a job. But hey, no sense in killing yourself slowly with high levels of stress-related cortisone levels.

I’m busy. My vacations to San Francisco and Houston were productive. I am working toward our new move into our new condo. There are painters to hire, carpenters to consult, insurance to buy. I’ve interviewed for jobs. Turned one down. Hoping the other interview will result in a call for a second interview.

But stressing out? Nope. One twinge of anxiety and I reach for a pill or a bowl. I’m determined to stay calm. Sure, the money situation is a tricky one. Moving is a difficult change. Unemployment is plenty of reason to freak out. Especially now.

I realize I am actually expending energy to stay this relaxed. I realize I am putting in the effort to be calm. Really, Zen is a job in itself. I can understand why Buddhist monks need to spend so much time hanging out and meditating. It’s not easy.